Funny Selfish Quotes: A Funny Look Into Selfishness

Are you looking for funny selfish quotes to share with your friends? In today’s world, it’s easy to get caught up in selfishness.

We all want to be the center of attention and the one who comes out on top. But sometimes, it’s important to take a step back and be mindful of our own selfishness.

That’s why we’ve compiled some of the funniest selfish quotes to help lighten the mood, and remind us that it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes.

We hope these quotes will provide you with something to laugh about, and a reminder that it’s okay to be a bit selfish sometimes.

Wait, if you want to know and get the best understanding of selfishness and how to deal with it, come read our article on Selfish Quotes!

Funny Selfish Quotes

1.“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” — Oscar Wilde

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2.“Being selfish means you care about yourself more than anyone else around you.” — Unknown

3.“I’m a very selfish person—I want what I want when I want it.” — Madonna

4.“The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.” – Bertrand Russell

5.“A little selfishness is better than none… a lot is unbearable.” – Rita Mae Brown

6.“Selfishness is the greatest curse of the human race.” – William E. Gladstone

7.“You can be selfish and still be a good person.” – Kim Kardashian

8.“It’s better to be a little selfish than to be taken for granted.” – Unknown

9.“The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not on our circumstances.” – Martha Washington

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10.“Don’t be too hard on yourself—everybody is a little selfish sometimes.” – Unknown

11.“If you want something done right, do it yourself.” ― Unknown

12.“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” ― Oscar Wilde

14.“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” ― Marilyn Monroe

15.“A selfish man is a thief.” ― Josiah Gilbert Holland

16.“The greatest fool in the world is he who thinks he is wise, yet is only a fool among fools.” ― Unknown

17.“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” ― William Shakespeare

18.“The worst part of being selfish is that you can only truly be happy when you don’t want anything more than you have.” ― Unknown

19.“The worst selfishness is pretending to be selfless.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

20.“If you think being selfish is bad, then try being selfless – you’ll see which one is worse.” ― Unknown

Funny Quotes on Selfish Friends

21.”Friendship is all about give and take. Selfish people take and take and take.” – Unknown

22.”Selfish friends are always looking for what they can get out of a friendship; true friends look for ways to give.” – Unknown

23.”A selfish friend can never be a true friend.” – Unknown

24.”No one likes a selfish friend; it’s like always trying to find the cheater in a game of Uno.” – Unknown

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25.”A true friend will never be selfish, but a selfish person can easily be a fake friend.” – Unknown

26.”It’s hard to walk away from a friend who constantly relies on you to be their everything, but it’s even harder living with a selfish friend who won’t do the same for you.” – Unknown

27.”A selfish friend is like a one-way street; they’re only there when they need you and when they’re done, they move on.” – Unknown

28.”A selfish friend will always let you down. The best kind of friends will pick you up when you fall.” – Unknown

29.”A good friend is someone who is willing to share, but a great friend is someone who knows when sharing isn’t necessary because they understand your limitations and respect them.” – Unknown

30.”The worst type of friend is the one who puts their own needs before those of their friends; the selfish friend.” – Unknown

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31.”It’s funny how selfish people always think they’re being generous.” – Unknown

32.”People who are always thinking of themselves, always get the same results.” – Unknown

33.”It’s funny how people will always find an excuse to be selfish.” – Unknown

34.”A little selfishness can be healthy, just don’t let it take over your life.” – Unknown

35.”It’s amazing how selfishness can turn even the most generous person into a complete tyran.” – Unknown

36.”The funniest thing about being selfish is that you don’t realize how much you damage the people around you in the process.” – Unknown

37.”The selfish ones who always demand attention eventually get bored when no one is paying attention to them.” – Unknown

38.”Living your life for you is great. Just don’t forget to put others first.” – Unknown

39.”Selfishness isn’t a flaw, it’s a survival tactic.” – Unknown

40.”When you put your needs first, you are inadvertently putting a world of hurt on everyone else.” – Unknown

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41.”Always remember to be selfish – because if you’re not, who will be?” ― Unknown

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42.”It’s not selfish to do what’s best for you. It’s self-care.” ― Mandy Hale

43.“Self-interest is the greatest enemy of all true affection.” ― David Grayson

44.“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” ― Oscar Wilde

45.“A person’s true wealth is the good he or she does in the world.” ― Mohammed

46.“A selfish man is a thief.” ― Jose Marti

47.“My main point is to encourage each of us to be more aware of selfish tendencies, and to refine our characters when possible.” ― Daisaku Ikeda

48.“No greater injustice exists than to force someone to do something against their own will.” ― Steve Maraboli

49.“Not everything that goes around comes back around. Some things come back much bigger than they left.” ― Unknown

50.“Selfishness is not living as one likes; it is obliging others to live as one likes.”― Bernard de Fontenelle

Funny Selfish Quotes Satire

51.”Selfishness is super trendy these days – it’s what’s hip and cool.”

52.”The ultimate goal should be to become the most selfish person in the world.”

53.”The world should revolve around me.”

54.”Make sure to grab all you can for yourself.”

55.”The key to success is taking more for yourself than what you give away.”

56.”The key to a great life is to accumulate as much wealth as possible.”

57.”The latest way to be popular is to be really selfish.”

58.”It’s every man for himself out there.”

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59.”Forget about being charitable. It’s time to look out for #1.”

60.”How selfish can one be? The answer is infinity.”

61.”A selfish man is a thief in disguise.” -Mark Twain

62.”Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” -Oscar Wilde

63.”Selfishness: An excuse for all the things you don’t want anyone to know.” – Unknown

64.”Selfishness is the greatest virtue; unless, of course, you’re the one being selfish.”

65.”A selfish person is like a prickle in your sock, unavoidable but not enjoyable.”

66.”A selfish person might have their legs at the table, but their heart is still at the door.”

67.”The only person more selfish than a selfish person, is a selfish person with money.”

68.”A selfish person can be best summed up with the saying; ‘me, myself and I.”

69.”Selfishness is often the root of all evil — especially when it comes to someone else’s stuff.”


Selfishness is a funny thing. On one hand, it’s something that can have negative connotations and make people feel guilty, but on the other, it’s something that can be incredibly empowering!

After all, if you don’t take care of yourself, who will? That’s why we’ve collected some of our favorite funny selfish quotes to help remind you to take a little time for yourself and love yourself first.

So thank you for visiting my blog, sharing them with a friend, or just enjoying the humor yourself – whatever you do, we hope these funny selfish quotes can help you have a little more fun and self-care in your life!

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Hi, I'm a writer and blogger with a degree in psychology. I love sharing my thoughts and experiences through writing and have contributed to various online publications. In my free time, you can find me outdoors, reading, or spending time with loved ones. Thank you for visiting my blog!

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